Liberal Repercussion

"the ClearChannel/ChoicePoint candidate"


I am noticing something REAL interesting; the Bushies have purchased my email addy from someone and are reassuring me that I am one of them. I have NO idea how. There are only two likely sources: 1) that spastic Presidential Prayer Team (I signed up to get the sticker) or 2) the Federalist (daily bile - would be funny if they weren't serious.)

I'm also getting via snail mail personally signed photos of Chimpy, offers to "register" me as a "voter" for $25 (very dicey) and all sorts of freakish junk mail.

Anyway, excerpted from the most recent missive from the Committee To ReElect the pResident, an inspirational excerpt from a speech purportedly read aloud to some fat cats somewhere. (with enhancificating commentary)

The Clear Choice on the Economy:

"... Come November, the voters are going to have a very clear choice.

Well, except for those "special" ballots we'll have printed for the elderly and ESL folks.

It's a choice between keeping the tax relief that is moving this economy forward, or putting the burden of higher taxes back on the American people....

(We chose the latter. Eat it.)

Our opponents talk about job creation, but they're against every one of these job-creating measures.

That ain't the kind of Creation we're all about. Damn college eddjicated commies, flipping burgers is too good for them.

Empty talk about jobs won't get anybody hired. The way to create jobs is our pro-growth, pro-entrepreneur, pro-small business owner agenda."

Pro-pollution, pro-corporate, anti-labor, anti-workers' rights. The quick way to a healthier bottom line? Fire everyone over 40, with a family, experience or a medical condition. (Be sure to contest their unemployment benefits.) Then slash benefits for your remaining workforce. Don't worry, they will be grateful they have jobs.

The Clear Choice on the War on Terror:

"It is a choice between an America that leads the world with strength and confidence, or an America that is uncertain in the face of danger....

Fools rush in where angels fear to tread... no wait, wrong aphorism. What I meant is: "Bring it on!"

Our opponents say they approve of bold action in the world, but only if no other government disagrees.

Sorry about the nose thing. Someone will get you a check to replace that window.

I'm all for united action, and so are the 34 coalition partners we have in Iraq right now.

We're forming a club, and we're going to have meetings and matching t-shirts and a secret handshake! It'll be the ginchiest.

But America must never out-source America's national security decisions to the leaders of other governments.

Just our jobs.

Some of our opponents are skeptical that the war on terror is really a war at all.

Those rat bastards are cooling it in Gitmo right now.

They view terrorism more as a crime -- a problem to be solved with law enforcement and indictments.... After the chaos and carnage of September the 11th, it is not enough to serve our enemies with legal papers.

The law is so... overrated. Really cumbersome.

With those attacks, the terrorists and their supporters declared war on the United States -- and war is what they got."

We are now the world's foremost provider of senseless civilian death and destruction.

The Clear Choice on Trusting People Over Government:

"The American people will decide between two visions of government: a government that encourages ownership and opportunity and responsibility, or a government that takes your money and makes your choices....

And if you like that latter choice, again, I urge you to vote Republican.

On issue after issue, the American people have a clear choice.

We like to think of it as Shut Up versus Die.

Our opponents are against personal retirement accounts, against putting patients in charge of Medicare, against tax relief.

With the brilliant performance of the stock market and economy during my administration, who could go back to those bleak days of the Clinton era?

They seem to be against every idea that gives Americans more authority, and more choices, and more control over their own lives....

Give me four more years and I'll give you Patriot Act III and IV.

I trust the people, not Washington politicians, to make the best decisions for their own money, their own health, their own retirement, and their own lives."

That's why the good people at the TIA are working hard for YOU.

The Clear Choice on Optimism vs. Pessimism:

"Our opponents have not offered much in the way of strategies to win the war, or policies to expand our economy. So far, all we hear is a lot of old bitterness and partisan anger.

And not an unkind word from our mouths. Gentle Republicans being verbally abused. The Dems are just vicious, I tell you. Just thinking about it, I'm getting the vapours.

Anger is not an agenda for the future of America.

I don't guess Coultergeist and Rush got the memo.

We are taking on the big issues with strength, and resolve, and determination, and we stand ready to lead this nation another four years."

Straight to hell. You'll like it there. It's a lot like Crawford.

posted by Rei Toei @ 2:55 p.m.